


someone to stay

by starstrek



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: "Enemies", Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Declarations Of Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Inspired by StarStruck (2010), M/M, Public Display of Affection, Singer Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Soft Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Soft Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:29:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstrek/pseuds/starstrek
Summary: — Don't worry, it happens a lot when people meet me for the first time.Yusuf looks up, slaps the stranger's hand away and tries to stand up for himself, but one of the man’s arms is already around his waist helping him find balance. He is glad, otherwise he would probably be on the ground again.— I fell because you slammed a door on my face, you pretentious little shit.(Nicolò di Genova is a famous singer that everyone is absolutely obsessed with, including Yusuf's sister. Yusuf can't hear about him anymore until one day destiny decides to interfere).
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 80
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1

Yusuf wakes up to the same melody every day. His younger sister is obsessed with an Italian singer and even though he has to admit the man is talented, one can tolerate being woken up by the same voice only so many times. Luckily, it's way after his morning prayer, before the sunrise, when he's already back in bed trying to get a few extra minutes of sleep. 

When his family moved to Sacramento, he was only seven years old. They moved because the company his father worked for was opening a branch in the city. They had other branches all over the United States and their focus was helping immigrants that arrived in the country. Yusuf remembers being on the living room floor with his teddy bear, in their old house in Tunis, when his father was on the phone insisting that if he had to move he wanted to go to California because his sister in law lived there.

Unfortunately, she passed away seven months after they had arrived, and Yusuf's sister, Amira, carries her name (and her smile, according to his mother). 

He sits on the bed, trying to keep his eyes open, without any rush to run to the one bathroom they share because he knows Amira is watching that boring video clip over and over again. He opens his drawer, choosing a pair of jeans and his favorite blue shirt. After he makes his bed, he walks peacefully to the bathroom and locks the door.

Yusuf gets into the shower, allowing the hot water to relax every knot in the muscles of his back. He has been so tired lately. For the past month, he has been debating with himself if he should tell his parents about his sexuality or not, but every time he plays out the conversation in his head, a panic attack strikes. 

He doesn't really know how his family will react, but he doesn't think it will be good. Not because they don't love him, far from that. But because they were raised to believe in a different thing and Yusuf understands that. He understands why his mother tries to set him up with that girl from a Muslim family. He does, and the thought of disappointing the people he loves the most is excruciating.

Yusuf steps out and dries himself before changing into his clothes. He goes to the kitchen to have some breakfast, his stomach is not really working in his favor lately, and greets his mother with a kiss on the cheek when he meets her.

— Good morning, mama. 

— You look too thin, — she says. — What do you want for breakfast?

He picks an apple from the fruit basket and gives it a bite, smiling when she raises an eyebrow. Amira arrives a few seconds later and greets their mother, before taking a seat next to her brother.

— Joe? Are you picking me up tonight?

Oh shit. It is tonight. The concert in Los Angeles she has been talking about for months. He had completely forgotten. 

— Of course, Ami. Who are you going with?

— Josie's mom is driving us there and you bring us back.

He nods and smiles. It's not like he has any plans for this Friday anyway. It's a holiday, so no classes for them. Yusuf is in college, studying design, and Amira is still at school. 

— Mama, Nile's birthday is on Sunday and Booker and I were planning to take her to the beach and then to her favorite restaurant. Do you think baba will let me use the car?

Nile and Sebastien are his best friends. Booker has a very similar story, his parents arrived when he was about seven or eight and his family moved to Yusuf's neighborhood; they became best friends in school and are now attending the same college. They met Nile in college, she came from Chicago and after attending a few classes Joe was taking too, they became fast friends.

— I think so, — his mother smiles. — If not, you can get money for a cab.

Amira leaves after breakfast, something about getting in line first that Joe doesn't really understand or wants to. He helps his mother with the dishes and then excuses himself to study for the exam he has next week. Instead of doing that, though, he draws every single beautiful thing that comes to his mind. He writes a few poems too, about love and loneliness.

Yusuf doesn't belong there, or anywhere if he's fully honest with himself. He wishes he could create his own world. He has his own.

When Yusuf was five years old, they went on a vacation to Malta, and even though he was so little, he remembers to this day how good it felt to be there. How peaceful. It's one of these weird things people's minds do, he is able to forget what he had for lunch yesterday, but remember with details the sensation of the water on his little feet. He wants to move there someday, maybe after he gets married, not that there's anyone lining up outside his door to offer him to do just that.

Yusuf leaves the house around four in the afternoon, it's a six-hour drive to Los Angeles and he plans to arrive just in time to pick up Amira and get the hell out of there. He had time to take a one-hour nap before taking the car so he wouldn't get too tired driving back home. 

He arrives to the place just in time and texts his sister to let her know he's already there. She texts back: _Joe, we're trying to get autographs! He's still here. x_

Yusuf rolls his eyes because his head is hurting so much and he feels like throwing up anytime. He's either too stressed or dying. Either way, he just wants to leave that place as soon as possible. He is so absorbed in his own thoughts, that he doesn't realize he's standing right in front of the backstage door. 

Not until someone opens it and hits Yusuf's head. He falls immediately and the stranger offers a hand. 

— Don't worry, it happens a lot when people meet me for the first time. 

Yusuf looks up, slaps the stranger's hand away and tries to stand up for himself, but one of the man’s arms is already around his waist helping him find balance. He is glad, otherwise he would probably be on the ground again.

— I fell because you slammed a door on my face, you pretentious little shit.

Their eyes meet when the stranger looks at him, he is genuinely concerned while he curses in Italian. The stranger's eyes are so pretty that Yusuf wishes he had his sketchbook with him to draw them and never forget. He doubts he ever will though.

They hear excited screams getting closer and the stranger looks like he's about to combust. Holy shit! He's not a total stranger. He's Nicolò di Genova, the famous singer everyone is obsessed with.

— Is this your car? — Nicolò asks, already helping Yusuf to get in the passenger seat. He would have protested if he was not feeling so weak.

Nicolò slides behind the wheel and drives them out of there before Yusuf even realizes what’s happening. On the way to who knows where, he looks at Yusuf, with a sweet smile on his face.

— I'm Nicky, — he says — Sorry about your head.

— I'm Yusuf, but you can call me Joe. Sorry about your door.

Nicky laughs, and Joe hears a soft snort. He doesn't know why, but he loves that sound. He wants to hear it again. It's the last thing that crosses his mind before he closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, lovely people! Thank you for reading, a few things you should know:
> 
> 1) The main plot is inspired by the movie Starstruck, but almost everything will be different (if that makes any sense);
> 
> 2) I'm doing research before writing, but PLEASE let me know if I should change or fix something. I don't wat to be disrespectful;
> 
> 3) The title is inspired by the song Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic;
> 
> 4) Thank you to my friend @nadin for reading this first and helping me with it. And thank you @fitzcamebacktome for listening to me when I needed to vent about this au. ♡


	2. Chapter 2

— We're here, — Nicky says, touching Joe's shoulder to wake him up. Joe opens his eyes, still a bit sleepy; when he turns to his left side, he meets the ocean inside Nicky's eyes. Something about them makes him think of Malta.

Joe smiles and Nicky smiles back. For a moment, silence and peace are the only things they know, until Joe remembers what he was supposed to do in Los Angeles.

— AMIRA! — he shouts, opening the car door and running outside.

Nicky is almost sure he should have said something about the torrential rain, but the guy is fast, already standing in the middle of the street in the downpour. Did he even remember his car was there? Oh shit, the door. He had damaged Joe's brain. He watches with a sympathetic expression as Joe comes back defeated and soaking wet, stopping next to Nicky.

Nicky promises him that he is going to make a few calls to try to get the security camera footage and see who Joe's sister left with. He guides Joe inside his house where a doctor is already waiting to examine him. 

The place is nothing like Joe thought a celebrity house would be. Actually whenever Amira mentioned Nicolò (which was too often for Joe’s taste), he always pictured someone cold and distant. However, the house he is in has a different atmosphere, it has the most beautiful paintings Joe has ever seen, toys all over the living room floor and a smell of homemade meal that almost resembles his mama's food.

He sits on the couch, after Nicky whispers 'don't worry'. Joe is in fact very worried, it looks like an expensive couch and he doesn't want to ruin it because he has no money to pay for it if he does. The doctor meets him a few minutes later; Nicky excuses himself for a second and disappears.

— Mamma! — Nicolò calls her, and even though she's clearly making the food, she turns around to pull him to a warm hug. — Are Andy and Quynh still in the country?

She shakes her head.

— They travelled yesterday to the Bahamas. Their anniversary, remember? Why is Doctor Bova here, Nico? Is everything alright?

— I don't know, — he crosses his arms, before starting to explain to her exactly what has happened. 

Andy and Quynh are his manager and lawyer, respectively, and the only two friends he has outside Italy. They grew so closer over the years that even his family loves the two women. Nicolò can be himself around them as much as he can be around his parents and his little brother.

He can be the fun, generous and kind guy who donates half of his earnings to causes he believes in, he can be the son who needs advice and Ale's big brother who loves to play soccer with him. He can talk about the guys he finds hot and complain about his love life. He can be gay.

Nicolò can be everything he can't show to the public. He has never intended to hide, but once he signed with Copley Records they started selling the image of a prince charming; his fan base consists of young girls who think they will marry him someday and he saw himself trapped. However, it's a small price to pay in order to sing. 

Paparazzi running after him and asking him about his relationship status is a small price. Freedom is a small price. Nicolò repeats these words to himself every day. How many people have the chance to do what they love? He will never take it for granted.

— Oh Nico, take him upstairs for a shower. Give him clothes. He needs to change or he will catch a cold. I'm going to try to find news about his sister, — his mother orders.

He goes back to the living room and the doctor gives Nicky a prescription with not only a painkiller that Joe can take if he feels any headaches, but also a few symptoms they should be alert for the next twenty four hours. Nicky guides Dr. Bova out and turns around after he closes the door, resting against it.

— You will have to stay here. I'm sorry! I can't get in touch with my lawyer so-

Joe stands up, very offended by the subtle statement, and walks towards Nicky stopping inches from him. 

— I'm not going to sue you. I don't want your money! I want to know if my sister is alright and I want to go back home. You're... — he closes his eyes, trying to breathe in and out not to lose his temper and offend the guy. — You must be very sad, — he decides to say.

They hear the steps coming from the kitchen and Nicky's mom appears, her apron still has flour all over it. She smiles kindly as she introduces herself and stops next to Joe, showing him the footage of his sister leaving. Joe is pretty sure he shouldn't hug her because he's wet and they're strangers, but he embraces the woman anyway. She hugs him back whispering to him that Nicky will show where he can shower and change.

— Your mother is a lovely woman, — Joe says when they're both on the stairs. — How did you turn out like this? 

Nicky who is leading the way, turns around and raises an eyebrow. 

— You know nothing about me. — His tone is cold.

Joe doesn't answer because maybe, just maybe, he was a bit rude and now he's feeling guilty. When they arrive upstairs, Nicky gives him a towel, a pair of pants and a t-shirt that he swears he never wore. He guides Joe to the bathroom and explains to him how to turn the hot water on. When he's already at the door, he turns around.

— Is she alright? Who did she leave with?

— Her friend's mother. She's alright. Thank you, Nicky.

— No problem, — he answers, before shutting the door. 

Nicky goes to the bathroom adjoined to his room to shower, leaving behind not only the weight of the day but also the torment Joe's words had brought him. Why did he have such a low opinion of Nicky? They have never even met before. 

When he is done, he changes into clothes similar to those that he gave to Joe, picks the box of painkillers the doctor had prescribed (luckily he had one at home) and puts it on the bedside table in case Joe needs it later.

Joe's mother would love Nicky's mother. That’s what Joe thinks when she insists that the boys should eat in the room. She says that, Joe specifically should stay in bed and she won’t accept no for an answer. Nicky is on a mattress on the floor, next to his bed where Joe is resting, because the guest room is being renovated. They eat in silence. After they finish, Nicky picks both their plates and goes downstairs while Joe walks to the bathroom to brush his teeth with a brand new toothbrush the singer gave to him. Nicky comes back with two bottles of water just in case they get thirsty during the night and excuses himself to brush his own teeth. 

— Sorry, — Joe breaks the silence once they're both back in their beds — For what I said.

— Me too, — Nicky answers. — For everything. I never asked, do you want to call anyone?

— I don't have the numbers memorized and I think I lost my phone when I fell back there because it's not with me.

— You can use my computer to send a message to your family if you have any social media. 

— Thank you. I'll do it tomorrow, — Joe says, taking a pill from the box of painkillers that were already there when he arrived in the room. He opens the bottle of water and takes a sip to swallow the medication, thankful that Nicky thought about bringing one for him. — It was hurting before. Don't worry, not your fault, — he decides to clarify when he sees Nicky looking at him with so much worry. — Thank you for the pants, the shirt, the painkillers and the toothbrush.

The worried expression doesn't fade away making Joe feel exposed. Nicky has the most beautiful face he has ever seen, he definitely understands why Amira is obsessed with the guy's physical appearance. 

— Do you want to play a game? — Nick asks.

Joe is a hundred percent sure he's going to regret agreeing to it, but his brain and his mouth are clearly not working together because, even before he knows he is talking, he whispers a soft _yes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my friend @nadin for reading it first and helping me improve it this chapter.♡ I hope you all like it!


	3. Chapter 3

Nicky doesn't really know why he suggested it. Perhaps, because some part of him wanted to know why the most handsome guy he has ever seen hates him without a reason. There's something about Yusuf that he finds extremely intriguing and he can't wait to unveil his secrets. The rules are simple: each can ask a question, both have to answer honestly and whatever they say in the room, stays there. 

Joe switches his position in bed, laying on his stomach, eyes staring at Nicky who is sitting on the mattress. 

— I'll go first. — Nicky bites his lower lip, trying to think of a simple question to start; he remembers how his brother tries to make friends and goes with it. — What's your favorite color?

— Green, — Joe answers. — But also depends on the light, I guess. Hm, the color of your eyes, — he regrets saying it the moment the words leave his mouth. Joe expects Nicky to make fun of him, but the singer doesn't. 

— Mine is, hm, yellow? Like the sun. There's just something about the sunshine, you know? The start of a brand new day, new possibilities. — Nicky smiles.

— Tell me your favorite place in the entire world? — Joe asks.

— Easy! Italy. The entire country. Dad and I go on road trips every year when I'm back home.

Nicky considers Italy his home. For some reason Joe makes a mental note not to forget it.

— I've never been on a road trip before. 

After the revelation, Nicky decides to share every single detail about his road trips: the singing in the car, staying at cheap hotels, eating snacks, playing games and most importantly, stopping to see their favorite places. He also tells Joe that even though his parents got divorced shortly after his brother was born, they remain good friends and are very present in their lives.

— Malta, — Joe smiles, proceeding to tell Nicky about his trip as a little kid, how that place always held a special place in his heart. — I want to live there someday. 

— I've never been there. Maybe I'll visit you.

— Only if you don't hit a door on my face, — Joe says. 

— Why not? This way we get to spend time together even though you hate me. That's my next question: why do you hate me? — Nicky asks, eyes fixed on Joe's. 

— I don't. I mean, you can come off as a little pretentious at first, but you're a nice guy, — Joe smiles.

— Oh, no! We have a history that only you know. I think I should be aware of it too, — Nicky jokes, a playful smile on his lips.

— My sister is your biggest fan. I wake up to the sound of your voice every morning.

Nicky laughs so loud that he has to cover his mouth with his hand so as not to wake up his mother and his brother. He's already tearing up when he regains his breath to say.

— You hate me because your sister has good taste in music? 

— You wake me up! — Joe sits down, pouting.

— You big baby, buy your sister headphones, — Nicky giggles. — I'm a little offended that you don't like my voice.

Joe is about to answer when someone opens the door. A small boy holding a teddy bear runs to Nicky's arms, giving him a hug and Nicky happily hugs him back. The boy sits in Nick's lap and tells him about the nightmare he had with monsters coming to get him; Nicky listens with attention and after sparing a few words of consolation, he points at Joe.

— This is Joe. Joe, this is my baby-

— I'm not a baby, — the child corrects him.

— I'm sorry, — Nicky puts his arms up like a guilty person. — This is my brother Ale.

Alessandro climbs up to the bed and gives Joe an unexpected hug that Joe returns with a tender expression on his face. When Joe and Ale engage in a conversation about monsters, Nicky becomes a mere spectator, the topic changes to drawing and Ale smiles his brightest when Joe promises him they can draw together in the morning. It happens when Joe is teaching Ale how to make a fish mouth; Nicky looks at him and is sure of how much he wants to taste Joe's lips. 

Nicky closes his eyes, in an attempt to dismiss the thought, when his attention is pulled back to the present.

— Nico? Will you sing for us? — Ale asks looking at Nicky before turning his attention back to Joe. — My brother is the best singer! 

Nicky smiles. 

— Give me space, — he says, moving to the bed. Alessandro moves to his left side, resting his head on his chest.

— Joe, you have to lay down too, — Ale whispers like it's a secret. 

Nicky tilts his head to his right shoulder to indicate Joe can. He hesitates, but Nicky whispers _c'mon_ and he finally rests. It's a bit uncomfortable at first, but as Joe slowly finds himself drifting off, he snuggles against Nicky's neck wondering how it would feel to kiss him.

When Nicky wakes up in the morning, Ale is not there. Joe, on the other hand, is cuddling him pretty much like the way Ale holds his teddy bear when he falls asleep. The view is beautiful, Joe's curls are a little messy, his breath against Nicky's neck making the singer shiver and his hand holding Nicky's shirt. 

Joe moves a little, looking up and the two men can't help but smile when their eyes meet.

— Sorry, — Joe says, but doesn't let go of him just yet. — Bedhead? 

— Nicely tousled, — Nicky laughs, a snort coming out. Joe's eyes shine, finally being able to hear that beautiful laugh again. — My mom and Ale left already for a birthday party. What do you want to do?

— Hm, I have to go back home. Nile's birthday is tomorrow, Booker and I are surprising her for lunch. They're my friends. 

— Hey, you have to stay with me for the next 24 hours so I don't feel extremely guilty if you die. I can drive you first thing Sunday morning!

Nicky could easily buy a plane ticket and Joe would arrive in Sacramento in about an hour. However, driving him there gives them more time together and Nicky finds himself craving every second he can have with that man.

— I like this plan. And I like your voice, very much, — Joe let go of him, sitting on the bed. — It’s just the waking up part, you know?

Nicky sits too. 

— I understand. Maybe you can offer to Amira to play it before bed? You slept like an angel. 

Joe laughs. How delicious and intoxicating that laugh is to Nicky’s ears; it's like a drug that courses through his veins and makes him feel everything at once.

— You’re very pretentious.

— So I’ve heard, — Nicky looks at him, a smirk on his lips. — Let’s go. 

— Stop doing that! 

— What am I doing? — Nicky asks, standing up and walking to his closet to pick a pair of clothes for him and another one for Joe.

Joe rolls his eyes, and stands up too. Nicky throws at him a pair of pants and a t-shirt, he catches it, blinking twice when Nicky repeats the question. 

— You know exactly what you are doing. In fact, I bet you do it all the time. You give people that look and expect them to fall for you? Well, it’s not working on me so get over it.

— Oh! — Nicky crosses his arms, trying to hide a smile. — What about your lost puppy dog eyes, Joe? I've seen it, alright? It's not working on me either. 

It is, in fact, working on them both. 

Nicky drives them to Hollywood Boulevard, they're both wearing caps and sunglasses not to be recognized (not that Joe needs it, but he actually likes the style). 

They walk side by side, shoulders brushing, hands almost touching, a nervous feeling surrounding only the two of them. Not because they're scared of getting caught, but because they desperately want to intertwine their fingers without the other knowing the feeling is reciprocated. 

Nicky spots a toy his brother has been looking for a while. He holds Joe's arm, drags him inside the store, and then goes immediately to the shelf where the robot is, meanwhile Joe stops in front of another one.

— What? What is it? — Nicky touches his arm, with the robot already in his hands.

— Nothing, it's just, — Joe smiles. — See that whole set with crayons and a book to draw? That was my absolute dream when I was a kid. I never asked for it, because I felt bad for the price. 

Nicky picks it up. 

— My gift for you. 

— Nicky, — Joe is about to protest, but Nicky's finger touches his lips to shut him up, making Joe lose his senses. 

— C'mon, draw something for Ale. He'll love it. Plus, I'm also getting headphones for your sister so you stop annoying the poor girl.

— I don't want your money, — Joe says firmly. He needs Nicky to understand that he's not going out with him for the money.

The truth is that Joe is loving to spend time with Nicky; the guy is funny, kind and Joe's heart is clearly playing a trick on him: ever since they first met, he's falling in love with Nicolò di Genova.

— That's why I'm not giving you my money, — Nicky states like it's obvious. — I have one request. Can you go over there and pay? I'm scared they will recognize me. 

After Joe pays, Nicky says they must visit the Hollywood sign because, surprisingly enough, they have never been there. When they arrive, the first thing Nicky does is taking his phone off his pocket to take a picture of Joe. He's watching the sign, arms crossed in front of his chest, cap backwards and a look that Nicky could write a million songs about.

Joe looks at Nicky and shyly suggests that they should take one together. Nicky stops in front of him, Joe gently places one hand on Nicky's hip and with his other arm he holds the phone to take the picture. 

Nicky turns around to look at Joe. What is his heart doing to him? It's been less than 24 hours and he's falling in love with Yusuf Al-Kaysani.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Some lines from this fanfic belong to Starstruck (2010) and The Old Guard (2020);
> 
> 2) Thank you to my friend, @nadin, for reading it first and helping me improve this fanfic.


	4. Chapter 4

— Do we have everything? — Nicky asks, leaning against the car door.

— We do have a lot of snacks here. Is this how road trips go?

— Oh, no! But we're making a short version of it. Snacks, good music and good conversation. You'll have an experience, — Nicky smiles and Joe can't help but smile too.

— Are you sure you don't want me to drive? 

— I drive the first three, you drive the last three, deal? 

Joe nods; he's standing next to Nicky when Ale comes running and hugs his legs, he kneels to be on the same height and hugs the child back. When he stands up, Nicky's mother is the one who pulls him to a hug, Joe thanks her for the hospitality and she says he'll always be welcome in their home.

When they both close the car doors, they look at each other. They only have six hours left. 

— You're so quiet. Are you feeling alright? — Nicky asks fifteen minutes after they have left. 

_No. Not really. I didn't think leaving you would be so hard,_ Joe thinks, unable to answer the question.

— Don't be sad, we will see each other again, — Nicky sounds hopeful. 

_We have to, okay? I need you in my life._ Nicky takes a deep breath, hoping Joe can read his thoughts.

— Someone has to keep you grounded, — Joe says.

— Exactly, — Nicky agrees. — Do you want to choose the music?

— Driver picks the music. That's the rule with Ami so she doesn't make me listen to your songs 24/7. FUCK! — he curses when the realization strikes him. — I never sent them a message. My family. They have no idea if I'm alright. What a fucking idiot.

— Hey, my phone is here. You can use it, — Nicky offers.

— No. All good. We will be there soon, — Joe rests his head against the window. 

— In honor of the injustice Amira has been suffering, we will be playing my music. — Nicky turns the radio on.

Joe closes his eyes when he hears the familiar voice on the radio, allowing himself to be completely and utterly swept into Nicolò di Genova; his voice is nothing compared to him singing live and it's still perfect in every way. Joe doesn't understand why he's so sad about going back home, he has a loving family and amazing friends. He enjoys college and has a great internship. Why is he sad? He finds the answer when he looks at Nicky who is singing along to his own music.

 _Oh._

He is not sad to go back home. He's sad to be leaving Nicky. He's sad because he won't wake up in his warm embrace anymore and he won't hear Nicky's voice before going to bed or forget the entire world when they are together. His mind is in turmoil and the only thing still keeping him grounded is the sound of Nicky's voice floating out of the speakers as he is singing his latest hit Ease My Mind.

— Who did you write this song for? 

— No one. I wrote this song about a feeling. About something I want to have someday. Why? Are you jealous? — Nicky jokes.

— What if I am? — Joe asks, eyes fixed on Nicky's profile.

Nicky looks at him. — I would have to kiss you to make sure you know you're the only one.

Joe was not expecting that answer, not in a million years. Is Nicky feeling the same way he is? 

— Joe, two hours already. — Nicky announces. — Let's stop? Eat something? Have breakfast? We didn't eat before-

He says in a hurry as he spots a gas station that has a restaurant next to it. Nicky is not ready to leave Joe and maybe extending their trip will change the course of things.

— And we're stopping right here, — Nicky pulls over.

He turns around to pick a cap and his sunglasses in the backseat, before opening the door to leave the car and walk towards the place. Joe walks next to him.

— Why did we stop here? — Joe asks, really curious, after they ordered waffles and coffee. He thought the whole point of bringing snacks was to eat them.

 _Because I want to spend more time with you._

— Because snacks are not a proper breakfast.

_Thank you for stopping. It gives us more time._

— I agree. Remind me to never criticize Clark Kent's glasses again, it really works. — Joe giggles.

A few minutes later, sooner than they both wanted, the food arrives. They eat in silence because they don't know what to say or how to express what they are feeling. At some point, Nicky touches Joe's hand that is resting on top of the table; Joe intertwines their fingers and they both smile. 

— Do you want another coffee? — Joe asks.

— Yes, yes. What about you? 

— Absolutely. 

Between cups of coffee and glasses of water, they keep unfolding each other. It's simple, but incredible in every way. Nicky loves hearing about Joe's poems and drawings while Joe is fascinated by Nicky's composing process. They talk about their families, friends and dreams for the future. Even after an entire night of talking, it feels like they need an eternity together to discover every single detail about each other. Sometimes one of them will repeat a story just to buy them more time. 

They stay there for at least an hour, their hands tangled during the entire conversation, like if they keep on touching, they won't ever have to get apart. 

— Nile, — Joe whispers when someone starts to sing happy birthday.

Nicky squeezes his hand. — Let's go.

Four more hours. 

Joe is sure Nicky will let go of his hand the minute they get up, but the opposite happens, he holds it tighter as they walk back to the car. When they are both with their seat belts on, a sad silence takes care of the environment.

— Nico? — Joe asks, making Nicky almost melt right there. It's a special nickname, it's even more beautiful when it comes from Joe's mouth. — Would you like to go to Nile's birthday with me? 

Nicky looks at him, excitement written all over his face. He was not waiting for that invitation and maybe, _maybe_ it means things can be different for them. 

— I would love to, — he smiles.

When they are just one hour away from Sacramento, they stop again to buy a gift for Nile in a convenience store. Joe picks her favorite chocolates and a happy birthday card while Nicky watches him. He's almost losing himself in that moment when he sees a paparazzi taking pictures of him. 

Nicky closes his hand into a fist. He looks at Joe one more time, and then he knows exactly what he has to do. Joe doesn't deserve what Nicky goes through, he doesn't deserve the lack of privacy and the constant anxiety of being followed. He doesn't deserve not going on normal dates or being judged by every single action. He deserves freedom and happiness. A happiness that Nicky didn't even notice he was missing before he met Joe.

He asks the lady behind the register for the keys to the bathroom, goes to the aisle Joe is, grabs his arm and drags him to the bathroom that is next to the background exit. They won't be seen there. He locks the door and leans against the sink, arms crossed in front of his chest.

— Are you feeling alright? — Joe asks, touching Nicky's cheek.

— I'm fine, — he answers in a cool, detached tone, removing Joe's hand. He regrets it already, feeling empty without Joe's touch. — Just ready to leave. Ready to go home. This is where I leave you.

— What? — Joe is genuinely confused. He frowns. Did he get all the signs wrong? — What about Nile's birthday?

— I don't even know her. 

It's true, he doesn't, but he wants to, because Nicky wants to know everything about Joe's life. Everything. 

— What about- what about me? — Joe asks, his voice cracking with emotion. — I thought- Nico? — the name leaves in a whisper and he bites his lower lip so hard to avoid a scream that he can taste blood. 

— Oh, you thought? — Nicky laughs. This is the worst moment of his life, he's staring at Joe, the man he fell in love with, and laughing about feelings he reciprocates. He takes a deep breath in order to keep his mind in place, not to pull Joe into a hug right there and apologize in every language he knows. — You said it yourself, it's what I do with people, — He picks the car keys from his pocket and puts in Joe's hand.

Nicky leaves without looking back, already calling for a car to come, pick him up and get him home. The paparazzi takes at least a hundred pictures of him so he remains with a neutral expression. Inside, though, he's crying and screaming. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Joe sliding into his car and driving away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicky's single is Ease My Mind by Ben Platt;
> 
> Thank you to my awesome friends, @nadin and @fitzcamebacktome, for helping me with this chapter. ♡


	5. Chapter 5

It's been a week and Nicky is still incapable of leaving his bed to do anything other than going to the bathroom, showering and eating. His sheets smell like Joe, he wants to be in that place where Joe remains forever. His mother is out of town with Ale which makes things a little easier for his sadness. He is not ready for a speech, not yet. Not when everything hurts. 

One day, after his phone falls on the floor, he finds the gift he gave to Joe under the bed, he has no idea how it ended up there. He picks it up, curious to see if there's anything. The first drawing is Ale dressed as a superhero which makes Nicky smile. His little brother is going to love it. When he turns the page, he sees his own eyes beautifully sketched. On top of the page there are two sentences written: _Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?_

The memories from the gas station come rushing back; Joe's confused eyes, his expression so hurt that for a moment Nicky considered telling him what was happening. Maybe he should have done that. He wonders how Joe is doing, if he's eating properly (the night before they left for Sacramento, Joe had confessed to him that he didn't eat very well when he was nervous) and sleeping better. He also hopes Amira is still playing his songs every morning. He doesn't want Joe to forget him. 

An idea strikes him.

Nicky jumps from the bed, taking the notebook with him. If he ever wants to get another chance with Joe, he knows exactly where to start. He spends the entire day in his home studio composing a song. He only leaves later that night when he hears the front door opening; he goes to the living room and finds his mother, brother, Andy and Quynh. 

— I need to talk to all of you, — he says.

His mother asks for a minute so she can put his brother in bed. While they wait for her, Nicky talks to Quynh and Andy about their trip, getting a little bit happier when they tell him how wonderful it was. At least someone is having a good time.

After his mother comes back, taking a seat next to him, Nicky explains everything, including his line of thought to protect Joe; then he tells them about the song and how much he wants to release it because then maybe Joe will finally know how he feels.

— Nico, — his mother holds his hand. — Do you care about being famous or singing?

— Mamma! — he is offended that she's asking him that. — Singing, of course.

— Great, because I think you should sing what you wrote in person. You should tell him what you just told us. And apologize! You shouldn't have left him there. You'll have to earn his trust again, son.

— But, — He lowers his head. — The contract with-

Quynh interrupts him. — It says absolutely nothing about your sexuality, Nicky. He can't do anything if you decide to come out. As a friend, I agree with your mom.

— He will probably not renew your contract, — Andy says. — But who gives a shit? I'll already start finding pubs for you to sing. We're together, Nicky. Whatever you decide, we've got you. But I really hope you go after this man who inspired you to compose an entire song in a day. He has to be special.

It's the easiest decision Nicky has to make.

xxx 

It's been one week since Nicolò left him alone. One week since Yusuf closed his hand into a fist and bit it to stop a scream in a public place. Seven days since he drove back home crying his heart out, having to stop several times because his blurry vision didn't allow him to see the road. He fell in love with the guy and for a moment he was sure it was reciprocated. Now, on top of all that, not even his family and his friends are talking to him. 

They have all the reasons to be upset. He left his sister alone in a strange city, disappeared for two days without telling anyone where he was and missed his best friend's birthday. He apologized to Nile, of course, but he never told her the reason why he didn't show up. She is still upset because all she really wanted was him and Booker there for her. His parents are barely looking at him, his irresponsibility made them worried sick. 

Yusuf is unable to eat properly or sleep for more than four hours. Whenever he does, Nicolò haunts him: his malicious laugh after Yusuf touched him, the way he didn't even care or looked back to see if he was alright.

He is no longer writing or drawing either.

Was it all play pretend? Was there any truth in everything they experienced together?

He's all alone now. Surprisingly, the only person who is not upset with him is Amira. She often comes to his room to check on him and offer him something to eat. He always refuses with a kind smile. She still plays Nicky's songs every morning and Yusuf stays in bed crying his heart out, being constantly reminded of what had happened. 

Yusuf is laying in his bed, watching the ceiling like it's the most interesting thing in the world, when Amira knocks on his door. He whispers 'come in', she does and gives him an apple; he sits, resting his back against the pillow and thanks her.

— You have to eat something, — she reminds him.

He gives it a bite. — Thank you, Ami.

— Tell me what happened. 

— Oh, didn't you catch the news? I'm a terrible brother, friend and son. I disappeared for two days. 

She raises an eyebrow. — No shit, Sherlock. Tell me _why._

Amira can be very persuasive when she wants to be and Yusuf is so full of emotions that he ends up telling her every detail (except the game he and Nicky played). From waiting for her to being left in a gas station. She's also the first person he comes out to.

When he is done, Amira stands up and leaves abruptly. Yusuf curses himself under his breath and lays down again. Great, now his little sister hates him too.

— Done. I left his fan club, — She jumps in the bed, laying next to him. — What an idiot. 

Yusuf looks at her, surprised. 

— You … you don't think I'm lying? 

— Joe, — she looks at him; her eyes are as kind as their mother's. — We joke around but I know when you're telling the truth. I knew you were hurting for other reasons. Thank you for trusting me. You should have told me earlier, I was playing his music all this time and-

— It's alright. Should I tell mama and baba? Nile and Booker? The gay part, I mean. Not the Nicolò one. I want to forget that.

She thinks for a second. — Whenever you're ready. I promise I'll try to pretend to be surprised with the revelation, — she jokes.

— You're the best person in the world, you know? — He looks at her, smiling.

— I know, — she answers and they both giggle. — I'll leave you with your thoughts now but I'm in the next room if you need anything. 

Yusuf closes his eyes, trying to get some sleep, hoping he won't dream about Nicolò di Genova again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my friend, @nadin, for helping me with this chapter. ♡


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to make this experience better, I would suggest listening Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic while reading this chapter.

Yusuf is coming back home after his internship when he sees someone sitting on the steps in front of his house. The stranger is wearing a black hoodie and a pair of jeans, there's a guitar next to him. He looks up at the sound of Yusuf's approaching footsteps. 

Yusuf is not sure if it's the lack of food and sleep, or if it's his favorite shade of green staring so deeply at him, but he almost passes out. 

He stops, not really sure if he should take the next step or run away. His answer comes when Nicky stands up and walks towards him; he stops in front of Joe. 

— Can we talk? — Nicky asks, his voice is low and uncertain. A tone that Joe had never heard coming from him before.

— I have nothing to talk to you about, — Joe answers, sounding more unsure than he would like to be. 

— Please, Joe.

 _It won't hurt to hear what he has to say, it's better than staying without answers,_ Joe decides, opening the door and giving Nicky space to get in.

They end up in the kitchen, both with glasses of water in their hands, staring at each other with too many unsaid things between them. Nicky's guitar is leaning against the wall, and after he places the empty glass on the counter, he takes a deep breath.

— I thought, — he bites his lower lip; Joe can see regret all over his face. — I thought I was protecting you from my world. A world that doesn't have freedom and privacy. You didn't deserve that. I still think you don't, but being without you is unbearable. Maybe it's selfish of me to come here, but I had to tell you. 

Joe can't believe the words he's hearing. Actually, he can. It makes sense now why Amira was screaming when new pictures of Nicky one hour away from Sacramento surfaced on the internet. 

— You decided that hurting me was a better option than the truth? — Joe asks, placing his trembling hand on the counter. Nicky flinches at the sight, but doesn't say anything. — What are you doing here, Nicky?

— I came to apologize. To say you were right when you called me pretentious. I came here to tell you how sorry I am. 

— Is that supposed to fix everything? — Joe raises an eyebrow, almost choking on his own saliva. He's starting to feel his eyes burning and has to blink a few times to stop the tears. — I missed my best friend's birthday because I had to stop more than once to cry on my drive home. I forgot to tell my family where I was the entire time because I was completely absorbed in you. It's- in the end it's not your fault, is it? It's mine. My expectations. My fault. 

— I'm in love with you, — Nicky admits, without thinking twice, his eyes are shining from unshed tears. 

— Is this true or just a scheme to boost your career? — Joe wonders, he doesn't know if he can believe Nicky. Not anymore.

— NO! — Nicky screams; Joe can hear the fear in his voice. — I'm here because I'm crazy about you, but I think you also should know that I'm gay, — he says, taking a deep breath. — I wrote you a song. Can I sing it to you? If you want me to go after it, I will.

Joe nods; after it's over he's going to tell Nicky to leave and whatever relationship they had will be over forever. In his head, he knows it's the right decision, but his heart is not quite convinced yet. 

Nicky picks up the guitar and starts playing a sweet melody. What makes Joe melt is Nicky's voice singing those beautiful words that were written _for_ _him_. He's no longer in control of his emotions, the tears are falling uncontrollably, when Nicky sings the chorus, Joe starts sobbing. 

_Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out_

_Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope?_

_At the end of the day you were helpless_

_Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?_

The same words he had written on the sketch of Nicky's eyes. Nicky stops, walking towards Joe and pulls him into a hug; Joe tries to protest, to shove him away, but his stubborn heart allows itself to be held. He hides his face in the crook of Nicky's neck and for a few seconds he stays silent while Nicky keeps singing the rest of the song in his ear. 

— Do you want me to leave now? — Nicky whispers when he finishes the song. He has meant his words. 

— No, — Joe murmurs, tightening his grip on Nicky's shirt, afraid that the singer might go away one more time. 

— Forgive me, — Nicky kisses his curls. — I'm never going to hurt you again, — he promises.

— It might take a while for forgiveness, — Joe says. — You might have to stay next to me for a long time.

— I hope it takes forever then, — Nicky looks down, when their eyes meet, they both smile.

— I'm gay too, — Joe confesses, lifting his head to look into Nicky's eyes. — And very much in love with you, you idiot. 

Nicky laughs, that sweet snort coming out. Joe can't even begin to describe how good it is to finally hear that sound again. Nicky cups his face and rests his forehead against Joe's. 

— Hey, do you feel like resting? Can I take you to your room?

— Yes and no. Buy me dinner first, di Genova. 

— Look who's being pretentious now, — Nicky smirks

— I learned from the best, — Joe winks, intertwining his fingers with Nicky's and guiding him to his room.

The walls of Joe's room are baby blue which makes the environment quite calm even though the room is a mess: his bed is not made, there's a pile of papers on his computer desk and some clothes on the floor.

Joe blushes, looking at Nicky.

— I was not expecting anyone and it was a hard couple of days, — he explains, a bit embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck.

— It's okay, — Nicky brings Joe's free hand to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. 

They both lay down on the bed, looking at each other without even blinking, just to make sure that this moment is really happening. They are _together._ They feel the same way about each other. 

— I'm sorry, — Nicky says again, running his hand through Joe's hair.

— Sing it again? 

— Our song? 

_Our song._ Joe loves the idea of them sharing something. Something that belongs just to them. 

— Yes, — he wraps one arm around Nicky's body. — What's it called?

— Someone to Stay, — Nicky answers, before starting to sing. 

They both end up falling asleep holding onto each other and for the first time since Nicky has left, they're able to relax and sleep properly. The bed smells like _them_ , their bodies are touching everywhere and even though they are both clothed, it's more intimate than anything they've experienced before. 

When Amira arrives home with her parents, and her brother's friends, Nile and Booker, she has high expectations for the night. Maybe everyone will finally forgive Joe and her brother will feel better despite the whole Nicolò di Genova thing. Nile and Booker are good friends, they're willing to forgive him without any further explanation and her mama invited them over for dinner as a form of an apology, too. 

They are all laughing at something Booker said when Amira notices a guitar leaning against the kitchen wall. 

— I'm going to my room for a second, — she says and runs upstairs as fast as she can.

She doesn't even knock, she just opens the door in a hurry. — Joe!

Joe wakes up startled, holding Nicky's hip; Nicky is already sitting up, looking at the girl. 

— Hi, Ami, — Joe yawns. — Nico, my sister Amira. Amira, this is Nico. 

Nicky waves, smiling shyly.

— Hi, nice to meet you. If you hurt my brother again, I'm going to kill you, — she fastly threatens. Nicky nods, ready to explain himself and apologize to her too when she says. — Everybody is downstairs. 

— Who's everybody? — Joe rubs his eyes. 

She loves her brother, but sometimes she doesn't understand how a person needs so much time to wake up. 

— Mama, baba, Nile and Booker.

Joe looks at Nicky and then back at Amira who sees panic inside his eyes. Joe brings his legs closer to his chest, holding it tight, and goes completely quiet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course their song is Someone to Stay! Thank you Vancouver Sleep Clinic for writing the perfect song;
> 
> Thank you @nadin and @fitzcamebacktome who helped me make this chapter good. I'm forever greatful ♡ Go check their work, it's amazing.


	7. Chapter 7

_No! No! No! It's not supposed to be like this._ Joe closes his eyes, hiding his face on his knees. His head is spinning and his thoughts are so loud that he can barely hear Amira and Nicky talking. 

His parents are going to be so disappointed, they might even tell Joe to move out and he will no longer have a family. Or friends, because his friends will certainly be mad that he has been hiding such a big thing from them for so long. They have never verbally given him a reason to believe in these things, but an anxious mind always creates the worst case scenarios. 

— I can't, — he tries to say it out loud, but the words leave his mouth in a whisper.

He can't breathe, he's feeling dizzy and his heart is almost racing out of his chest. 

Joe has been preparing himself for this conversation for so long and now it's about to happen without him having any control over it. He doesn't even realize he's crying until Nicky holds his shaking hands.

 _Nico_. 

The only thing that makes the rest of the world stop. This is real. Nicky is real. Joe can breathe. He squeezes Nicky's hand back, his breathing starts to even out slowly.

— It's alright, amore _,_ — Nicky says in a calm tone. — You're not alone. You don't have to do anything today.

— But, — Joe tries. He really does, but he's too nervous to form a full sentence. 

_I don't want to lose you._

— You're shaken up about your family finding out about your sexuality? — Nicky asks.

Joe nods, holding Nicky's shirt. The fear of living without him is agonizing.

— This is not goodbye, — Nicky rests his forehead against Joe's; his tone is a little sad now and Joe hates himself for it. — I'm one call away. I'm not leaving you like I did in the gas station. It's just- take your time. — He cups Joe's face and Joe cups his. — _I know how it feels being by yourself in the rain. We all need someone to stay,_ — Nicky sings quietly. — Whenever you're ready. I'll be waiting for you. Meeting you was destiny, Yusuf.

Nicky leaves through the window of Joe's room, the house has only one floor, and the car that brought him over is still waiting outside to take him to the airport.

When Yusuf goes to the living room, all the confusion inside his head is different; he feels empty now. Something is missing. _Someone_ is missing. He sits at the dinner table where everyone is talking about the weather for the weekend, not that he is paying too much attention. He just picks a few key words here and there, and takes a deep breath. He's really going to swap one agony for another? Because not having Nicky is more painful than imagining terrible scenarios in his head. Why not end this right now?

— I owe you some explanations, — he starts, unable to look anyone in the eye. He pauses, finding the courage to say the next words. — I'm gay. I was- I'm so scared to disappoint you two, mama and baba. At the same time, I can't keep lying to you anymore and I’m not going to apologize for who I am, — he says in an emotional tone.

His mother, who is sitting next to him, touches his arm; when he looks at her he sees an understanding in her expression that catches him by surprise. However, it's his father who asks.

— Are you still the son we raised?

Yusuf nods, turning his attention to him.

— Well, then we love you and accept you, — he says. Yusuf's mother squeezes his hand and smiles with kindness.

Nile and Booker are staring at him with sympathy in their gazes. Joe understands that they both want him to know they fully support him but don't feel entitled to say anything at the moment.

— In the last 48 hours I disappeared, um, someone hit me in the head while opening a door so I had to stay with him in Los Angeles for 24 hours in case I had a concussion. It happened when I was waiting for Amira.

The first thing Yusuf's mother does is ask how he's feeling, if he has seen a doctor, and makes sure to say she will take him to the hospital first thing in the morning. He soothes her, answering that he was already taken care of.

— I lost my phone, that's why I never called.

— You could have asked them to use a computer or their phone to send us a message on social media, — Booker mentions.

Yusuf can't help but smile, remembering Nicky's offer after he was settled down in his room. 

— He offered, but I honestly forgot. I, um, I fell in love with him, — he smiles, but his eyes are full of tears, his mind wondering if he will ever see Nicky again. — We had an argument when he was bringing me back home, that's why I missed your birthday, Nile. — He looks at her, hoping she will understand. — I had to stop the car several times on the way home to cry. He- he came here today to apologize. 

— Did you accept it? — his mother asks.

— Yes, — Joe lowers his head, the memories still fresh in his mind. 

— Where's he now? — Booker asks. 

— Probably going back home. He said I didn't need to rush telling you guys because he would wait for me. 

— I hope we get to meet him soon, — Nile smiles, and in that moment Joe knows she forgave him.

— Me too, — Joe answers, but deep down he's scared that the future might have something different in the cards for him and Nicky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my awesome friends, @nadin and @fitzcamebacktome for helping me with this chapter. ♡


	8. Chapter 8

Nicolò spends the day away from his phone. Whatever he had to do with it, he almost did: answered a few emails about interviews he has next week and called the guys from the theatre to make sure everything is perfect and ready for tonight. Except talking to Joe. They have been sending each other’s messages for the entire week they were apart. Joe hasn't come out to his family yet and Nicolò has no idea when they will see each other again in person. He has another concert in Los Angeles this Saturday, so he made sure to leave a text explaining why he would spend the entire day offline.

He does a few photoshoots in the morning and spends the entire afternoon rehearsing with his band. At eight at night, Nicolò di Genova steps on stage. 

— Hello, Los Angeles. How are you feeling tonight? — Nicolò asks and the crowd goes wild, making him feel excited. — Two concerts in a month. You know how to make a guy feel special! — He smiles. — Alright, let's start. I have a few surprises for you tonight.

He starts with the classics, the songs that made the public love him, some that were originally posted on his Youtube channel, making everyone so curious about 'that Italian singer', that Copley offered him a record deal after meeting him face-to-face one time.

Nicolò feels bad for the first time that day; he wishes Joe was there. First, because texting and calling will never be as good as seeing him in person. Second, because he wants to share one of his favorite moments with his favorite person. 

— This next song is brand new. It's called _What You Mean to Me_ and I wrote it last week.

Nicolò takes a deep breath. This one will definitely demand for more emotional strength or tomorrow all the headlines will be about Nicolò di Genova crying on stage. He starts to sing, pouring his heart into it and when the chorus arrives Nicolò has to shut his eyes to stop tears from falling because his head keeps replaying the moment he left Joe in the gas station.

_Here I am with all my heart_

_I hope you understand_

_I know I let you down_

_But I'm never gonna make that mistake again_

Every part of his being misses Joe and he makes a mental note to call him first thing in the morning to sing this one to him. When he looks to the right, he sees Joe standing on the aisle next to the stage where no one in the crowd can see him; his eyes are as loving and bright as usual.

Surprise does not even begin to describe what Nicky is feeling right now. His lips curve into a small smile while he sings and the tears he was trying to hold fall.

He walks towards Joe, not even caring that he is walking off the stage. He touches his face and Joe smiles, resting their foreheads together.

_You brought me closer to who I really am_

_Come take my hand_

_I want the world to see what you mean to me_

_What you mean to me_

Nicky doesn't remember exactly how it happens, but at some point he puts the microphone down and his lips are against Joe's. Only the rhythm of the song is playing in the background. It's too fast for a first kiss, because Joe pushes him away and smiles watching him get back on stage. 

Nicky ends the song looking at Joe, both still in disbelief. 

— Can you guys give me a minute? I need a bottle of water, — he gestures no to the guy who was bringing it to him and goes to where Joe is. — I wrote this song watching you sleep one day before you left, — he whispers in Joe's ear before giving him another quick kiss. 

He grabs a bottle of water that sits next to Joe, and goes back to the stage drinking it; he also throws a little bit on his hair to refresh himself because he moves a lot when he's on stage. He no longer knows if he's excited because of the concert or because of Joe. Maybe both. He announces another new song called _Stay_ and in the beginning Nicky can see from Joe's expression that he's oblivious to how it applies to them. 

By the end of the song, though, Joe is crying and Nicky has to contain the urge to run over and hug him. It feels so good to finally be able to tell, or better yet, _sing_ to him everything he has been feeling since they’ve met. He remembers both of them that last night, struggling not to sleep and spend as much time as they could talking to each other.

_Stay tonight_

_Don't come morning, don't come light_

_They may be lies but say that we'll be alright_

_Say that we're gonna be alright_

_Tonight_

Nicky feels free. He loves performing, but never in his entire career has he felt as relaxed as he feels right now. He has a feeling Joe's presence has everything to do with it. He's smiling more, his shoulders are not as tense as they usually get during the introduction of a new song. It’s like being finally able to be himself.

— Do you guys know Fabrizio de André? — Nick asks, but the crowd doesn't react, so he starts to explain — He's a very famous Italian singer. My dad introduced me to his songs. A few weeks ago someone asked me why I rarely performed in Italian for a live audience, — he says, remembering the curious expression in Joe’s face after the question. — So, tonight I'm going to sing _La Canzone dell'amore perduto,_ — his eyes meet Joe's who is still wiping his tears away, Nicky puts his hand on the top of the microphone and whispers. — Per te, amore.

The crowd goes insane with Nicky singing in Italian, but in a different way. They all grow silent hearing every word that comes out of his mouth and when the song is over, they scream and clap like they never had before; Nicky can't help but grin widely. The last song of the concert is _Ease My Mind._ After it’s over, he thanks his band members and all his fans for their support. 

He walks off the stage and jumps in Joe's arms who happily holds his waist while Nicky cups his face and kisses him. Joe slides by the wall, sitting on the floor and taking Nicky with him; Nicky wraps his legs around Joe's waist and they never stop kissing. It's everything. It's intense. It's full of passion, fear and love. This is the best kiss of their lives, they're both shivering in each other's arms; the deeper the kiss becomes, the better it gets. They only stop when they can no longer breathe.

— You're here, — Nicky whispers. — You're really here.

— You said it yourself, we all need someone to stay, — Joe says. Nicky gives him another quick kiss, counting the seconds till they can leave.

They order a car to go back to Nicky's house and on the way Joe explains that he contacted Nicky's mom to get a backstage pass for tonight because he wanted to surprise him. When they arrive in the house, there's no one there. Nicky walks to the kitchen and finds a note: _I took your mom for a night out. Ale is sleeping in a friend's house. Enjoy your night and use protection. We love you. x Andy._

He smiles to himself, walking back to the living room where Joe is waiting for him. Nicky tells him they have the house for themselves until tomorrow which makes Joe blush adorably.

— I need a shower, — Nicky smiles, offering his hand. — Would you like to come with me?

— I would love that, — Joe answers, taking his hand.

They leave the shower still dripping wet, kissing each other as they find their way to Nicky’s warm bed. They make love without taking their eyes off each other; it’s too good to be true. Skin against skin, their tongues making a dance that only they understand and both of them coming almost at the same time, whispering each other’s name over and over again.

— Do you wanna play a game? — Joe asks, holding Nicky as close as he can. It's all so cozy and right. They are both still trying to catch their breaths while having the biggest smiles on their faces.

— Yes. Can I start? — Nicky asks, kissing the freckle on the tip of Joe's nose.

— OK, — Joe whispers.

— What happened after I left your house?

— I came out to my parents and my friends. I told them everything, except your name. How many songs did you write about me?

— Three. _Stay_ on the day before you left, _What You Mean to Me_ on the way back from Sacramento, _Someone to Stay_ one week later when I found the drawing. When did you make that drawing?

— Sunday after I woke up to pray in the morning. Are you going to release _Someone To Stay?_

— No, that song is _yours_. If you want to show someone, it's fine. But it's yours. Only yours. 

— Ours, — Joe corrects him; Nicky buries his hand in his hair and pulls him into a kiss. A kiss of several that he intends to give, a kiss that tastes like the sun and will inspire Nicky to write a million songs. — I don't wanna play anymore, — Joe pouts, kissing him again.

— But we will, — Nicky laughs. — It's my turn. Does your family know you're here?

— Yes. I'm coming back tomorrow. Do you want to have lunch at my house? With my family and friends? They want to meet you.

— I would love to. I'm coming out officially tonight. Actually, while we speak, there's a post scheduled. Just thought you should know. The next question is mine, right? 

Joe nods, rubbing their noses together. 

— Do you want to be my boyfriend? We don’t have to reveal our relationship to the public or anything.

— On one condition, — Joe raises an eyebrow, making Nick frown. — You have to sing that Italian song to me again. Right now. It was beautiful.

Joe closes his eyes the minute Nicky starts to sing, Nicky plays with Joe's hair and even if he can’t see himself right now, he knows he has a stupid smile on his face, thanks to Yusuf Al-Kaysani. 

They wake up early in the morning to drive back to Sacramento because there were no flights available, but this time they don’t stop anywhere. They eat all the snacks, sing together and joke around, just like it would have happened on a road trip (Joe is still taking Nicky's word for it). Joe parks Nicky’s car in front of his house and takes a deep breath. Nicky touches the back of his neck, making Joe look at him.

— It's going to be perfect. Te lo prometo, amore.

They get out and walk towards Joe’s front door. When he opens it, the house is empty. He looks at Nicky with a confused expression and whispers ‘I have no idea, I told them we were coming’. They both start laughing out of nervousness and Nicky desperately wants to pin Joe against the door and kiss him, but he doesn’t. It’s Joe’s family house and- his thoughts are interrupted when Joe is the one pinning him against the door, laughing against his mouth and kissing him passionately. 

— HA! I told you it was Nicolò di Genova, Booker. — Amira emerges from the kitchen, holding one hand out, palm up. — You owe me a hundred bucks. 

Joe and Nicky stop immediately, both startled, letting go of each other as fast as they can. Joe looks at his sister and then to Booker and Nile who follow behind Amira. Booker has a frustrated expression and takes the money out of his pocket to give it to Joe’s sister while Nile laughs next to him.

— Did you bet with my teenage sister, Seb? — Joe raises an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes.

Nicky is a little lost at first, but Nile embraces him. Nicky feels a little intimidated when she pulls back and tells him she will personally hurt him if he ever breaks Joe’s heart. But then she smiles widely and welcomes him to the family, telling him they are always like this. 

— Mama and Baba? — Joe asks. 

— Went to the market. Do you think I’m insane to let you kiss your crush in front of them? — Amira slaps his arm, making Joe shake his head and pull her to a hug. 

— His boyfriend, — Nicky corrects her.

— WOW! — Booker places a hand on his own heart. — Our boy is growing up! He’s dating, — he mocks Joe who turns red immediately. 

Joe's parents arrive a few minutes later and both stare at Nicky like they have just seen a ghost. 

— Isn't that the singer Amira likes? — his mother asks, blinking twice to make sure she's not mistaken.

— Yeah, — Joe bites his lower lip. — And he's also my guy, um, the guy I told you all about.

— Didn't you hate him? — Joe's father jokes, making everyone laugh and Joe blushes once more.

The lunch with Joe’s family and friends is very pleasant. Nicky feels at home already, Joe's mother reminds him a lot of his own, she’s very excited when Nicky starts talking about the instruments he plays because she plays piano and they have very similar taste in music; Joe’s dad and Booker are fans of European football, they talk a lot to Nicky about the matches and players. He bonds with Nile over art. She loves it as much as Joe so they easily engage in a conversation about her favorite artists and paintings.

Nicky also makes sure to apologize about everything that happened from the moment that he and Joe met and explains everything to Joe’s family and friends. Family, he decides. They are all family. He notices Joe is gone for a while, but it would have been rude to interrupt the conversation to go looking for him. However, when his mother calls Joe to help her with dessert, Nicky asks if he can use the bathroom, which just so happens to be between Joe’s and Amira’s room, and he finds them both laying on Amira’s bed laughing.

No one notices his presence, so he just leans against the door and watches.

— You have to help me get the posters down, — she says.

— Why?

— I don’t want posters of your boyfriend on my wall. We can put them in your room for when you feel lonely and- you know, — she wiggles her eyebrows.

Joe laughs. 

— You know it’s your fault that I’m dating him, right? — he asks and she looks at him with a smile on her face. — Thank you. — He kisses her forehead and she clumsily hugs him. — I think mama is calling me to help with dessert.

— I think mama and baba are going to adopt Nicolò after today. And your best friends excluded you from the group to add him instead. They all love him.

— What about you? — Joe asks. — No longer a fan? 

— Would you be a fan of someone who hurt me? — she asks in a serious tone. 

— Amira, how old are you again? — he asks. It's surreal how mature Amira is for her age. — I forgave him.

— I didn’t. Not yet. But I’m glad you’re happy. It’s been awhile since I saw you like this.

Joe sees Nicolò standing by the door and has to contain a smile.

— How long have you been standing there, Nico?

— Enough to wonder what Amira needs to earn my forgiveness. Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, your mother is asking for you.

— Make him move? Joe's room is bigger, — Amira says and Joe rolls his eyes. — What? It’s true! 

She jumps off the bed, saying she will be the one helping with dessert and leaves them alone to talk. Nicky sits next to Joe, intertwining their fingers.

— They are fantastic, amore _._ I think your mom-

— Would love yours? — he suggests and Nicky confirms with a nod. — Me too! — he chuckles. — What now, Nico? This is all a dream, but our lives are very different. How are we going to make this work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs Nicky sings in this chapter are: 
> 
> What You Mean to me by Sterling Knight  
> Stay by Sara Bareilles  
> La Canzone dell'amore perduto by Fabrizio de André (please search Luca Marinelli singing this song on youtube)
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Per te, amore: For you, love.  
> Te lo prometo, amore: I promise you, love.
> 
> Thank you to the most amazing @nadin and @fitzcamebacktome for helping me with this chapter. ♡


	9. Chapter 9

**six months later**

It's Joe's graduation day. He takes a quick look at the crowd and sees his family, Nile (who will graduate in one year), Andy, Quynh, Nicky's mother and brother. Oh finally, there he is. Nico. He's chatting with Nile about something. Probably art. 

Joe smiles to himself, thinking how stupid he was for ever doubting they would make it work. Sacramento and Los Angeles are not that far away, especially if all your boyfriend needs is a studio anywhere in the world. 

The principal calls Joe's name and he steps on stage, all eyes on him. He wonders how Nicky does it so easily. When the ceremony is over, Joe hurries over to his family for hugs and congratulations.

Andy, Quynh and Nicky's family are very close to him now, he already knows that they will always be a part of his life. The last one who hugs him is Nile who whispers in his ear that she has absolutely no idea how she will survive without him and Booker. He hugs her a little tighter, making sure she knows they will always be there for her.

Nicky is standing. Waiting. Joe walks towards him, stopping very close.

— Congratulations, amore. I would love to kiss you right now, — he says in a lower tone. 

They have never kissed in front of Joe's parents; Nicky wants to be respectful and doesn't want to overstep certain boundaries, especially because he was so well received, which makes Joe's parents love him even more. Their relationship is not out in the media yet so if anyone asks, Nicolò di Genova was there for a friend.

Joe smiles. 

— How would you feel if there were pictures of us online?

— We talked about it already. No rush.

Joe cups his face, making Nicky's eyes wonder in curiosity, but when their lips touch the world stops. 

**one year later**

They are in Italy together for the first time to go on a proper road trip with Nicky's father and brother. Nicky’s father welcomes Joe as his own son and Alessandro is beyond excited that he will be the navigator this time while Nicky and Joe stay in the backseat.

— Is it everything I promised? — Nicky asks when they stop in one of his favorite spots in Tuscany. He's staring at the sunset. 

— No. It's better, — Joe answers. — You missed out the detail that I would hear embarrassing stories about you during the whole trip. — He chuckles. 

The rest of their three-day trip is filled with joy, songs provided by the one and only Nicolò di Genova and memories that Joe will carry for the rest of his life, like Nicky's father making sure to explain the importance of every place they stop at and trying to convert Joe to root for his football team, drawing with Ale during every meal at breakfast and getting so lost in time and space that Nicky needs to remind him to eat.

His favorite memory, though, is the night they spend in that little hotel with a room just for themselves.

**three years later**

They move to a one room apartment in Los Angeles because Joe insists they should be able to share the bills. When they step inside for the first time, Nicky notices the couch turns into a bed and he wonders if Joe wants to receive guests from time to time. 

He is currently working at one of the most important design agencies in Los Angeles (and Nicky had done absolutely nothing to make that happen). 

— Close your eyes, habibi, — Joe asks and Nicky does, letting himself be guided by his love. — OK, open. 

When Nicky does, he feels like crying. Joe turned what was supposed to be their room in a studio for him. He turns around, pulling Joe to a kiss that makes them forget whatever they have to do for the rest of their day.

Later that night, when they are having dinner in their couch/bed, they stop in a channel that is talking about how amazing Nicolò's new album is. Nicky smiles, proud of himself. When they mention Nicky's love life, Joe makes a funny face. 

_The last time we heard about a potential boyfriend, after he came out, was three years ago in a college ceremony. As far as we know, Nicolò di Genova might be single right now. We are also very happy about the new songs in Italian he has been releasing for the past three years._

Nicky laughs, cupping Joe's face and kissing his cheek. 

— I'm not single, thank God. My man is right here and he is not going anywhere.

Joe looks at him, smiling.

**five years later**

They travel to Malta at the end of the year. The first thing they do is walk on the beach and watch the ocean together. It's beyond perfect.

— I have something to show you, habibi, — Joe says.

They walk in silence, holding hands, until they arrive at a beautiful house. Joe takes the key out of his pocket and opens the door. He looks at Nicky who is still very confused.

— Did you rent this place for us?

— No. I bought it. It's ours, Nico. We've been talking about this for a while and there's a room for your studio and another one for me to work. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms. What do you think?

— You bought us a house? — Nicky raises his voice in surprise. — Yusuf, I literally suggested buying a place with my money when we first moved together two years ago and you gave the 'we have to share the expenses' speech and now you bought us a house. Without my money to help pay for it. You're a hypocrite. That's what you are, — He crosses his arms, trying to remain mad, but at the same time he's smiling like a fool because they are going to live together in their dream place. 

Joe pouts. 

— I left the most expensive part for you. The furniture. Plus, I released a book of poetry about you, so it’s your money, too. Everything we have is shared, my love.

Nicky smirks, rolling his eyes. 

— I actually have something for you too. Let’s take a sit on the floor of _our house,_ please. 

They both do and Nicky who has been carrying his guitar all along, starts to play an unknown melody. The song is in Italian; Nicky is singing to him about how essential he is in his life, and Joe starts crying.

When Nicky finishes the song, he doesn’t bother to wipe Joe’s tears because he knows there are more to come, he takes a ring out of his pocket.

— Would you give me the honor to be my husband? — Nicky asks in Arabic; he was a hundred percent right, Joe starts sobbing, he jumps on Nicky, kissing him in such awe that they both end up lying on the floor. — I’m going to take that as a yes, — Nicky laughs against his mouth.

Joe answers in all the languages he knows while Nicky slips the ringer on his finger. 

**seven years later**

Their house smells like the ocean and scented candles they love to buy from a local store. The walls have paintings from famous artists that Nicky has bought over the years, and several drawings from Joe; the one of Nicky's eyes he did years ago is their favorite of all the pieces of art they own. The book shelf is full of poetry books, some written by Yusuf al-Kaysani.

They live a _normal_ life in Malta, no one treats Nicky there as a famous singer, but instead as the lovely neighbor who helps everyone in need. Every now and then, they fly around the world for Nicolò di Genova's tours and his husband follows him around because Joe can work from any place with a stable internet connection. He does several freelance design works for different firms while working on his books and drawings. 

Nicky's fanbase loves them so much that there are fanclubs for their relationship which Amira made sure to send to her brother with laughing emojis next to it.

Joe is asleep in their bed when Nicky ruffles his hair. 

— Wake up, my heart. Our families and friends are arriving to spend the holidays with us and we need to get the house ready for them.

Joe smiles, grabbing Nicky's hand and kissing his knuckles. 

— Five more minutes? You and me? You singing?

Nicky laughs. 

— Would you imagine being completely in love with a voice you used to hate?

Joe opens his eyes to look into Nicky's. 

— I didn't hate it. I just didn't like waking up to it. Now I can't wake up unless I hear it. Don't, hayati. Don't say anything. Amira texts me to mock me over this every day.

Nick lays down next him. 

— Choose the song.

— Our song, please. 

There are a hundred songs written about him now, but he never needs to clarify when he wants to hear their song. It's always the same.

Joe cuddles Nicky, burying his face in the crook of his neck. When he hears the sound of Nicky's voice echoing in the room, he can't deny that he's a little starstruck to call that man his husband.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Nicky wrote for Joe is L’essenziale by Marco Mengoni
> 
> Thank you to my friends, @nadin and @fitzcamebacktome, for helping me with this chapter ♡
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this journey as much as I did. Thank you for reading and leaving your comments. You have no idea how much I appreciate it!


End file.
